


Mistaken Identity, or How I learned the faculty are bad at their jobs

by Kadath



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: AU, Diana had a really poor opinion of akko's magic pre-13, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I just needed a catalyst for diana to realize that what she's feeling are Gay Thoughts (tm), I think I break more things than I fix, So don't expect a miracle "uguu kissyu" moment, Tutoring, Verbal Abuse, akko learns about classism early au, diana's roommates probably have personalities beyond "asshole", not really a fixfic?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-12-26 01:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12048369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kadath/pseuds/Kadath
Summary: (post episode 5)tl;dr: Akko has a bad time, so Diana helps tutor her.Akko's failing all her classes, or at least her teachers seem to say so! But there wasn't a syllabus, the exam material wasn't in the book, and there's not a report card to be seen. The deck seems to be pretty stacked against poor Akko, but will a believing heart get her through or will she have to force the faculty to rethink their lesson plans? (spoilers: it's the second one. Expect butterflies.)The school scrambles to change, but is one simple revelation enough to change Diana's mind about the dunce of Luna Nova? (Well no, obviously not right away, but Diakko feels better if it doesn't carry with it the baggage from all the emotional harm Diana inflicts on Akko for 3/4ths of the series like what the hell girl calm down)





	1. The gang lies on their application paperwork

**Author's Note:**

> cw: canon-level verbal abuse, some blood, anxiety attack

“Hey Professor Finnelan, I’ve got a question,” Akko began, glaring out across the carpet with an eye swollen halfway shut. As expected, she didn’t get to finish her thought uninterrupted.

 

“You will be silent!” Luna Nova’s least sympathetic faculty member snapped, looking down her aquiline nose at Akko. Her severe expression broke into one of disgust as Akko spat a jelly-like gob of clotted blood between her own feet. The headmistress twitched as the blob stuck to the carpet.

 

“Like I was saying, I was wondering if maybe I could get a bit of medical care before you get started? I’ll probably be able to talk a little better if my nose isn’t actively bleeding.”

 

The headmistress’ eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly from below the brim of her hat of office.

 

“I was unaware that this was more than a minor scuffle. Professor Callistis, if you would aid your pupil so that she is able to refrain from damaging my floor?”

 

“Y-yes, headmistress,” Ursula acknowledged, drawing her wand from her belt and tracing an intricate pattern through the air that ended just above Akko’s head. “ _Liryicea Rebudura._ ”

 

Akko crossed her eyes to look at her nose in surprise.

 

“Wow, that feels much better! That seems like a really useful spell!” Akko exclaimed, the former nasal quality to her voice now noticeably absent. Ursula gave a soft smile at this.

 

“Stupid,” muttered Barbara under her breath from where she stood a pace to Akko’s right and two paces back.

 

Notably, Ursula returned to her previous position at Akko’s other flank without moving to heal the bruise on Hannah’s cheek.

 

“It’s a slightly more advanced version of a spell taught to all first-years as part of the core curriculum—even _you_ should know it already, miss Kagari.” Finnelan admonished, visibly exasperated. “Now-“

 

It was Akko’s turn to interrupt.

 

“Wait, time out. Why would I know that spell already? It definitely wasn’t in any of my classes. I’d have remembered it if it was.”

 

“Don’t be so purposely obtuse. Unless the quality of education at Luna Clara has vastly deteriorated, which given your example I am inclined to suspect, you would have to have at least learned it to pass your first year classes before you transferred in.” Finnelan’s voice rose in volume as her train of thought pulled into beration station.

 

“Luna Clara? Where’s that?” Akko tilted her head quizzically.

 

“Your previous school. The one you put on your application forms. Really, Miss Kagari, if you’re going to be difficult I’ll just pull your file.” Finnelan’s wand whipped out, its tip glowing an incandescent green. Akko flinched away from the sight, accustomed as she was to the tendency for unknown spells to be pointed at her.

 

The headmistress’ overall expression didn’t change, although the line of her lips thinned. Although the file in question floated directly in front of her on its way from one of the many drawers lining the north wall, her gaze remained locked on the young witch before her.

 

Professor Finnelan snatched the folder out of the air and flicked it open. A plain white envelope fell out as she did so.

 

“Aha. You see, headmistress? The student records we requested from Luna Clara.”

 

Akko squinted to try to make out the five crowns embossed on the upper left corner of the envelope as Finnelan held it aloft.

 

“It appears that the envelope still has yet to be opened, Professor. If you would be so kind?” The headmistress gestured perfunctorily for Finnelan to proceed.

 

A soft ripping sound briefly interrupted the impatient silence and Finnelan flipped open the only piece of paper inside and read. Her eyes bulged and her skin purpled as she read and reread the only paragraph. The paper flapped noisily as Finnelan let her arm fall to her side.

 

“This says that they couldn’t find any student matching miss Kagari’s demographic information in their records. You lied on your application?!” Akko didn’t have any trouble hearing Finnelan despite the distance from one end of the room to the other, but Finnelan was definitely shouting now. “If you weren’t going to be expelled for your conduct before, you certainly deserve it now!”

 

Akko felt her face heat and fresh tears well up at the implication. Unsure what to do but determined not to back down, she glared out at the misty blob which was rapidly looking less and less like her least favorite teacher.

 

“I never said I went to that school! I put my junior high school on the form!”

 

“I think we both know that’s not true.” Professor Finnelan raised her chin and narrowed her eyes in suspicion. She raised and opened the folder still in her off hand and slipped the first set of pages out before finally breaking the incandescent glare she had been directing at the student in front of her. Undoing the bulldog clip that held the pages together, she flipped through the pages until she reached the one she was after. She snorted. “Despite your handwriting, it does appear that you falsified this application, and as such we will have no choice but to-“

 

Akko blinked away her tears, letting them drip unheeded as she came to a startling realization. Professor Finnelan was like a steamroller in conversation but Akko made the attempt to stop it with her bare hands.

 

“Professor, did you not realize that was written in Japanese?”

 

Whatever Finnelan was about to say died in her throat with a croak. She flicked her eyes back down to the page and read the offending line over again. Her brow furrowed. She peered suspiciously back over the edge of the page at Ursula as though she was to blame for all this. Her teeth clicked shut as she saw the headmistress gesturing in her peripheral vision and she wordlessly handed the packet over.

 

The headmistress spent another heavy few seconds pouring over the document, eyebrows lost perhaps somewhere in her hairline (though only the brim of her hat could tell for sure). Finally, she set the packet back down and propped herself up on her elbows, clasping her hands in front of her as she addressed the student who had been called into her office.

 

“It would appear that there has been quite a serious miscommunication here. I was unaware that there were still active schools of magic in the Orient.”

 

Akko was beginning to see why witches had a reputation for being backwards in this country.

 

Ursula coughed meaningfully before speaking up.

 

“I think you’ll find that Akko went to a regular school, not a magical one, headmistress.”

 

Blinking owlishly, the headmistress gave the most articulate response she could think of.

 

“What.”

 

  

 

 


	2. Full life consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The scene continues, with people talking at each other a lot and the headmistress dropping the hammer. Ursula reaffirms herself as sadmom.

“Professor Callistis will work with you and the faculty teaching the first-year classes to get you transferred. Now, this brings us back to the disciplinary portion of this meeting.” Headmistress Holbrooke spoke somewhat more animatedly after Akko had explained that yes, she really went to a normal school and no, she didn’t have any family history of magic or informal familial training. “The complaints of Professors Finnelan, Badcock, Nelson, and Devereaux will be dismissed as stemming from our earlier misunderstanding. The explosions in classes led by Professors Lukić and Romanova did cause some wastage of school materials, though likewise we are inclined to forgive these as they might have been prevented with proper oversight. Professor Badcock was able to return to her afternoon classes the same day as the unfortunate incident with the apple so no permanent harm done, though I suspect she would appreciate an apology.”

 

Akko nodded conscientiously at this.

 

“Finally, your conduct in Professor Callistis’ class—there is nothing in your file of course because this incident happened in the last hour. However, we are fortunate enough to have Professor Callistis present to give her interpretation of the events that transpired.”

 

“They started it!” Akko called out, incensed by the reminder. She quickly ducked her head in response to the warning look that the Headmistress gave her, however.

 

The headmistress gestured for Ursula to proceed.

 

“Well, I was proctoring Diana Cavendish’s astrological reading when some crosstalk broke out between Akko, Hannah, Barbara, and Diana.” She paused to straighten her glasses. “Akko expressed her doubts about the usefulness of Diana’s predictions, so Diana offered to read Akko’s fortune. I normally wouldn’t allow it given the way reading an ill fortune can create a rift between students, but Diana’s prior prediction aligned with my own regarding the school’s future and I hadn’t read anything bad in Akko’s future so I didn’t see the harm in allowing her to give a reading…” Ursula seemed to realize she was rambling and took a breath. “There’s really no excuse; I take full responsibility for the incident.”

 

“But what actually started the fight? When I walked in Miss Kagari was bouncing Miss England’s head off the floor while Miss Parker tried to hold her back,” Professor Finnelan interjected, clearly impatient.

 

The Headmistress held up a hand to silence the linguistics professor before motioning for Ursula to get on with it. Ursula, for her part, bit her lip before continuing.

 

“Well, Diana predicted that Akko would depart from Luna Nova. No time frame or reason made their way into her prediction, however. Really, this reading could be satisfied with Akko going into town to pick up a fresh pocket calendar.” Ursula sighed and placed a hand on her hip. “Diana’s teammates made the interpretation that this predicted Akko’s expulsion. Er, that _is_ no longer on the table, yes?”

 

Headmistress Holbrooke gave a perfunctory nod.

 

“Right, well, that was what led up to the fight. I didn’t see what Akko tripped over, but Hanna and Barbara followed her down to the ground.”

 

The Headmistress’ withering gaze took in the three students in front of her.

 

“Young ladies, I think you’ll find that this sort of behavior really is unacceptable in this institution. Conduct like this squanders the opportunity each of you has been given to study in these halls. Still, many witches learn more about life than just magic here. Hannah England, your father has great hopes for your education and I do not look forward to our next conversation. Barbara Parker, scholarships have been revoked for similar offenses, so do keep that in mind.”

 

Akko’s smarmy smile of schadenfreude sucked itself back in as the Headmistress finally turned her attention to her.

 

“And you, Atuko Kagari. You really should learn to pick your battles.” The Headmistress sighed and leaned back slightly in her chair. “The four of you will be on laundry duty for the next two weeks.”

 

Hannah and Barbara managed to fold their arms and swing their heels in place as mirror images of each other while Akko puffed out her cheeks in frustration. Ursula slumped where she stood.

 

“I… I understand, Headmistress. I bear responsibility for what happens in my classroom,” she admitted softly.

 

“Hm? Oh heavens no, not you Ursula, I haven’t had you scrubbing robes for many years,” Holbrooke allowed herself to show some small amount of amusement as she spoke. “I was talking about Miss Cavendish.”

 

“Hwaaah?” Barbara and Hannah both made their confusion known.

 

“You can’t punish Diana!” Hannah cried.

 

“Yeah, she’s your star pupil!” Barbara rejoined.

 

“ _If you please,_ ” Headmistress Holbrooke silenced them without raising her voice a decibel. Without taking her eyes off them, she addressed Professor Finnelan.

 

“Miss Cavendish is still waiting in the chamber outside. If you would?”

 

Professor Finnelan nodded and left, returning in short order with the third member of Hannah and Barbara’s team. She stood stoically at attention, though perhaps a bit too stiffly to not have been listening in to the last minute or two, if the Headmistress was any judge.

 

“A star must be polished if it is to shine; likewise, a witch who improperly uses her magic on her fellow students has not yet finished her education. Two weeks in the laundry should give you four ample time to reflect on your actions and their consequences, but more importantly _why_ we have these rules in the first place.”

 

When the four students and their teacher finally filed out, Anne Finnelan put a knuckle to her chin in thought and turned to her colleague.

 

“Do you think there’ll be any downstream consequences of having those two sitting in on that entire session?”

 

“Hm. Probably nothing particularly of note,” Miranda Holbrooke replied with a stifled yawn.

 

* * *

 

“Diana! You’ll never guess what we heard!”

 


	3. Retrograde advance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akko has another bad day, but magic heals all wounds!

“Akko will learn Chariot’s identity, and it will hurt her terribly…” Ursula recited the words, staring with eyes unfocused at the movements of the heavenly bodies in the magistrolabe she had conjured around herself. Her jaw clenched and unclenched silently as she compared this latest reading to her string of previous, similarly dire predictions. With a hissing sigh she let her fingers pass through the delicate spheres and rings, scattering the spell back into raw mana as her hands flopped back down to her sides.

 

Not for the first time, she studied the scar on the moon.

 

“Not yet…”

 

* * *

 

 

Moonlight shone in through the high, narrow window in the east wall of the laundry room. The angle of it cast Akko’s face in shadow as she labored on the bike whose chain was hooked up to a laundry drum. Sweat dripped down her chin, but she seemed to pay it as much attention as she did the whispers of Diana’s two roommates, who were wringing out and hanging up the still-damp laundry. Sweat soaked through the back of her shirt, which clung to her but seemed to offer no relief from the sweltering steam that pervaded the air.

 

Diana’s hand closed on air and she looked back down at the empty bin from which she had been filling Akko’s next drum. She resisted doing anything so unladylike as clicking her tongue at her lapse in concentration, instead turning to grab the box of detergent, her gaze passing idly over Akko again. A few solitary grains hissed around in the bottom when she shook the box. She stood smoothly.

 

“I need to go to the storeroom for more detergent. Excuse me.” She turned on her heel as Hannah, Barbara, and Akko gave their token acknowledgments and made her way past the stacked bins on the floor to the room’s only door.

 

When the door finally clicked closed, Akko took a moment to catch her breath, straightening up on the seat and peeling a few errant strands of hair off her face. She kicked her leg over the side and hopped off the bike, and her somewhat wobbly strides took her to the side of the drum, where she took a knee. With one hand she made sure the rubber tube connected to the spigot in the side was pointed at the drain in the floor and with the other she turned the knob.

 

Instead of the expected gurgle of air bubbles through the hose she got nothing. Furrowing her brow, Akko turned the knob again experimentally, which elicited a few pitiful squeaks but nothing more. She then lifted the tube off the ground to see if it was blocked, whereupon it promptly sprayed her in the face.

 

She dropped it and wiped her eyes quickly enough to catch Barbara pocketing her wand as she and Barbara both burst into a fit of giggles.

 

“You looked like you could use a drink!” Barbara called as Akko slowly stood.

 

“Yeah, and maybe if you washed your face more often you’d have better skin!” Hannah added with a smirk.

 

“And you’d probably smell better~” Barbara sneered.

 

They tapered off as the sound of Akko’s snarl rapidly approached.

 

Diana flung the door open moments after hearing the crash. As she took in the scene her brows rose and she threw down the new box in her hand in order to grab her wand.

 

Akko had Barbara pinned underneath her with her knees leaning on the other girl’s shoulders. Simultaneously, she was grappling with Hannah, who was trying vainly to put her in some sort of sleeper hold while Barbara bucked and slapped at her thighs with what little range of motion she still had in her arms.

 

Diana called to mind the spell she had been taught as part of her role as a hall monitor when she was younger. It would attach to magical nodes and force them apart, and since humans were natural conduits for magic, she could separate brawls without having to get physically involved herself.

 

“ _Brenten abduro!_ ”

 

A spark of light floated out from her wand and once it reached the girls, transformed into a rapidly expanding, translucent sphere. It bowled Hannah over as it passed through her, flinging her off Akko’s back. As Hannah flew one way, so too did Barbara, sliding along the floor with Akko still on top of her.

 

When they skidded to a stop, Akko nearly lost her balance, which allowed Barbara to wiggle an arm free and try to hit Akko with a straight jab. The smaller girl’s fist passed just in front of Akko’s nose as she jerked her head out of the way. In response, Akko leaned back over and slammed Barbara’s arm to the ground by her wrist.

 

When Akko looked up again, she found herself face to face with the business end of Diana’s wand. Immediately, her skin began to crawl and her stomach clenched, but Diana held the wand almost casually, seemingly forgotten at her side. Vaguely, she was aware that Diana was wearing a frown. Dimly, she could hear that she was speaking, but she couldn’t hear past the roaring in her ears. Every indignity her various classmates had inflicted on her became focused in on that single point.

 

_Turning my skin green for a day._

_Folding my assignment into a paper crane that flew out the window._

_A static shock that made my hands shake and my hair stand on end._

_Locking my jaw together so that I couldn’t speak._

_Murowa._

 

“No!” Akko cried, slapping the wand out of a surprised Diana’s hand. By the time it clattered to the floor, she was standing, and by the time Diana had begun to recover her composure, Akko had shoved past her and was halfway to the door.

 

“Wait!” Diana called after her, at a loss for anything more convincing to say.

 

“Just leave me alone!”

 

Then she was gone, her ponytail disappearing around the corner and her footsteps trailing into relative silence broken only by the burbling of the laundry drum and the groans of Diana’s roommates as they picked themselves up.

 

Diana was left to wonder what had gotten into the girl. One second she was flushed with exertion, her damp hair forming a curtain around her face while she wrestled with Barbara. The next, she was staring, pale and glazed, at Diana’s waist, though she only then realized that she’d been looking at her wand. Honestly, Diana had forgotten she still had it pointed at the two.

 

She had been more curious why Akko hadn’t been affected by the spell. It was supposed to work on everyone. It was held that all humans had an innate magical capacity, so what did this imply about Akko? Some creatures have a particular resistance to magic. Diana almost barked out a laugh at the notion of a half-dragon Akko, disguising it as a scoff at the last second.

 

 _So what does that leave?_ She considered.

 

Akko had turned white as a sheet. She had been attacking the girls, most probably in response to another of their ill-advised pranks to get a rise out of her, judging by the sodden state of her hair and clothes. However, instead of trying to knock Diana down like she did the others, she ran away.

 

She lifted her eyes back up to the empty doorway.

 

_Is she afraid of me?_

 

She clenched a fist at her side. It was a ridiculous notion. Diana had a reputation as the most responsible, competent witch at Luna Nova. She would never directly harm Akko with magic. Except…

 

As she crossed the room briskly to follow, Diana muttered a rather unladylike word that her roommates would deny hearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Magic does not apparently heal all wounds.


	4. Wicked Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana confronts Akko.

Diana did not clatter through the deserted halls, calling Akko’s name and scanning every shadow, because that would be stupid and unproductive. It was far easier to simply follow the prismatic sheen of her wand’s light reflecting off the small drips Akko had left in her wake, and more dignified besides. The trail of droplets ended at the edge of the manicured lawn belonging to the northern cloister, and just inside, she could hear a faint voice.

 

She drew closer to the center, and as she raised her wand higher, the soft glow fell across a huddled shape on the park bench. She heard an intake of breath and the figure tensed. A bloodshot eye glared out from under a dripping curtain of hair as Akko rose halfway to her feet.

 

“Stay away from me,” she hissed, knees bent and clearly ready to run again.

 

Diana extinguished the light, casting Akko’s baleful glare and her own carefully neutral expression into sudden shadow as she stowed the wand at her side. She placed her suddenly free hand on her hip and squared her shoulders, attempting to affect a silhouette of authority.

 

“Akko, you’re really being unreasonable now. If we get back to the laundry soon, we might even finish at a respectable hour.”

 

There was no response from the Akko-shaped smudge of darkness. Although her eyes were still adjusting, Diana could barely make out the sight of Akko’s silhouette curling its knees up to its chest.

 

“Akko. Are you listening?” The frustration carried through in Diana’s tone. An autumn chill had settled over the night and Diana felt the goosebumps prickle up her arms. The silence stretched on, and she opened her mouth to repeat herself before Akko finally replied.

 

“Why do you hate me?”

 

Whatever Diana had been thinking of saying trickled out of her head and into her stomach. It gave her heartburn.

 

“Of course I don’t h-“ Diana began, but her heart wasn’t in it and she allowed herself to be interrupted.

 

“That’s not true!” Akko insisted, wincing as her voice bounced back to her off the stonework of the cloister. She continued more softly. “Please, just tell me? What did I do?”

 

In the darkness neither girl could read the other’s expression. Akko huddled on the park bench, hugging her knees tightly while Diana stood rooted in place beside her. What could she say? Did Akko really think she felt that way? As it became clear no response was forthcoming, Akko continued.

 

“When I first arrived, I was so excited to finally learn some real magic. I could barely sleep that night! Then I got my list of classes. I thought I was getting introductory lectures, but all the teachers kept talking about things I’d never heard of and used words I couldn’t understand. Then, when I found the nerve to complain, you appeared.” Her voice steadily grew thicker as she went on, but she forced the words out. Diana felt her nails pressing painfully into her palms.

 

“I was trying to get the Shiny Rod to respond the way it did the day before, when it saved my life. When I failed, you cast an illusion that scared me half to death and walked off. The next time I saw you, you were hurling curses at the papilliodia cocoons. I had to throw myself in front of your wand to protect them before you would listen to me. It hurt a lot, but the Shiny Rod’s glow fixed me up.”

 

Diana tried to swallow, but her mouth was too dry. Akko definitely could have died from that hex.

 

“You saved my life in the race and I thought we could finally get along. I still have a really big scar on my leg from when I fell off on the home stretch.”

 

It unnerved Diana somewhat to hear the girl speak almost wistfully about breaking her leg in two places. The school nurse’s magic had fixed Akko up the same day, but Diana still remembered the sight of Akko being carried off the field. She had looked so small.

 

“Then last week, when the Sorcerer’s Stone was repossessed, you came down to the laundry room to deliver that message from Professor Finnelan. You told me to give up, that my friends were only putting up with me out of pity. That my sort was only suited to wash clothes. And-“ Her voice broke, and she let out a shuddering sigh before starting again, her words wobbling in much the same way Diana’s legs currently were.

 

“And then today, you told me the stars predicted I’d have to leave Luna Nova. Why? Why are you doing this?”

 

Diana’s mouth hung open. Her first impulse was to deflect using the social techniques that had been drilled harshly into her from an early age, turning her words into a parry and readying the riposte. She was beginning to realize that this way of thinking was to blame for landing her in this position in the first place. She took a breath and instead curled her lip in the first syllable of a flat-out denial of any malicious intent.

 

But that wasn’t strictly true, was it? What she had been about to say died on her tongue. Before that moment she hadn’t really acknowledged how her own feelings colored her interactions with the exchange student in front of her. Now that Diana paused to consider it, there was something about the other girl that had struck her from the start. Akko’s near childish exuberance, bullheaded fixation on her own unattainable goals, and her attachment to Diana’s most secret childhood hero, Shiny Chariot, all combined into some sort of indescribable feeling. Diana didn’t have any particular problems with Amanda, troublemaker though she was, nor Sucy, slacker though she was. When it came to Akko, however, something stirred within her.

 

Loathing. An irrational hatred. That’s the only thing it could be. The thought of it left Diana deeply ashamed, alongside the irksome realization that it had snuck up on her quite without warning.

 

It really was irrational, she reflected. There were students who were more rude, less diligent, less prepared, and with more objectionable interests. Akko’s biggest weakness was her vexing earnestness, and Diana felt her stomach clench as she realized she had exploited that to the fullest. Akko had taken her words to heart, rather than as verbal sparring as had been initially intended. Her own remarks had grown steadily more vicious as time went on, waiting for a response, and had reduced the girl in front of her to tears. How often had she cried while Diana wasn’t around? Diana recalled in that moment a particular turn of phrase regarding the road to hell.

 

Diana realized that the silence had grown uncomfortably long. There was really only one honorable reply.

 

“Akko, I am deeply, deeply sorry for the words and actions that caused you this distress. I wouldn’t presume to ask for forgiveness, but if there is anything I can do to make it right, name it, please.” Diana’s words were uncharacteristically halting, but if there was anything that would dishonor the Cavendish name it would be inflicting harm when she should be healing.

 

Diana’s pulse thudded in her ears as she finally forced herself to make red-rimmed eye contact. Akko offered a small, sodden smile before responding.

 

“Well, there’s one thing…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Diana's perspective! How original! You've definitely never read a fic with Diana's inner monologue agonizing in it! 
> 
> This chapter didn't want to get written, but here it is.


End file.
